Tuesday, May 27, 2008

The Boy in the Window

I have taken this story out of the running for the Bebo Author Short Story Competition. I will be submitting it shortly to another contest whose rules allow for posting on your personal blog.
I put a lot of effort into this story and I hope I pulled it off as well as I'd wanted to. If I had to pick one word to describe it, I think I would choose magical, but even that leaves so much more to be said. I'll leave this up for a few days to give people a chance to comment before I make my next post. Let me know what you think. I would love to write more about what went into this story, in case anyone wants to know more about what was on my mind when it was coming together.

*** This story has been removed as I look to find it a new home.***


Pblacksaw said...

Very good story. I too have some stories in the Bebo Aurthor contest. Hopefully they will be through judging it soon. Be sure and let everyone know how this does in the other contest. Good luck!

Jena Isle said...

I have never read a short story such as this one, and I am a voracious reader. It is a good one...It allows the reader to make use of his own imagination...There is an interaction between the writer and the reader. The reader is transported into another world, just like the boy in the story.

One novel that is similar to this one (in the sense that it really "interacts" with the reader) is the book, "I am the Cheese".

If I were to vote, I would vote for this story. I speak as a reader. Good luck!

Ken Armstrong said...

It's a good story.

Nicely done! :)

Unknown said...

Thanks for all your feedback! I am so glad you enjoyed this story. I really put a lot into it and it feels good to know that someone out there enjoyed the journey.

Dave King said...

A fantastic story that should do well both for adults and children. Well crafted, it held my interest without any let-up. Hope it does well in the competition. It deserves to.

Angie said...

I didn't even know that you wrote. This was a great story. Very imaginative!

Haley H said...

I really enjoyed the story. It's lingered in my head since I read it a few days ago. I hope you do well in the competition.

Laura Brown said...

I liked it. I liked the idea, the story itself. It ended well too. I thought you were going to reverse Andrew with Phineas and leave Andrew as an old man.

Watch your descriptions of the actions and characters. You can show character with actions instead of spelling it all out almost step by step. Show, don't tell. Quite a bit of wordiness could be cut out if you let the Father show his character rather than tell the reader about it.

I'd rather give real feedback than write a goodie goodie critique. I used to do book reviews, where we had to be goodie goodie. That was awful and useless.


Well written! Good job. I see you've spent a lot of time on this.


RealitySlams said...

omg. it's brilliant! with submissions of this quality, how can i hope to make the cut? (ref : Bebo Author competition)

Brady, whatever you do..just don't stop writing. visit jodi picoult's site for inspiration and tips on writing and writing along.

i honestly think it'll be just a matter of time before you get published somehow, someway, somewhere.

here's to looking forward for more of your wonderfully unique, well-thought and well-written, brilliantly creative, charming and warm stories..

Tam said...

It was a good story,I concur with what jenaisle says about it encouraging the reader to make use of their own imagination.

Best of luck in the other contest.

Anonymous said...

Very good one, again an escape from the regular life to the world of story telling. simply great